By Monica Islam:
A gang of 30-40 men assaulted 20 women in the premises of Dhaka University during the Pahela Baishakh festivities. This is what it took for the people of Bangladesh to just start talking about gender rights. Although there are protests going on in Bangladesh, I am still deeply concerned, and here’s why.
My mind wanders back to a moment in high-school. I remember sharing a photo of mine in which I could be seen wearing a sari with a sleeveless blouse. The following day, a few of my female classmates accused me of “posing like a sl*t”. Some other classmates and I were so fragile at that age that we did not protest or get into a dialogue with them. Today, when I think of it, I realise two things – that it was a female group which held such disrespectful views; and that my school did not prepare its students to deal with regressive ideas like these.
A similar argument that I hear of nowadays is that if you are wearing a deep-neck dress or any other attire which even minutely reveals your flesh, you are being “objectified” by patriarchy or capitalism. I agree with that theory, but only if a woman is being pressurized by others to wear a certain outfit. What if she wants to look stunning, be it in a mini-skirt or a burqa? In cases where a woman freely decides to dress the way she wants to, is it not fair to let her have her own space of self-expression?
But that’s not all. Much later, I noticed how some women got increasingly happy when their boyfriend/partner derided another woman. They would not pause to think that a man who is generally respectful is much more admirable than a man who is respectful to just one person because he/she happens to be a relative. There is also an unnecessary discomfort in many men and women when their partner speaks to a member of the opposite gender, as if the only relationship that can exist between a man and a woman is that of physical intimacy, and as if there is no place for civilities.
The point that I want to make today is more than one:
Firstly, if you look at my aforementioned experiences in school and other social settings, you might notice that boys and girls are being socialized from a very young age to believe that women are weak or that they need to be all coy and traditional to get into the good books of people. And such a mindset continues till adulthood because of a lack of intervention.
Secondly, the topic of gender rights is a comprehensive one. Gender inequity is much more subtle and ingrained than we would like to believe. How many times have we talked about “emotional rape” in the media? Are young people taught to distinguish between love and abuse? Do we talk about the multi-faceted relationships between the sexes? It is erroneous to raise a hue and cry only when “bearded” men are allegedly involved or when such sexual harassment takes place in a renowned institution.
Thirdly, not many women have accepted this cause of empowerment as one of their own because some campaigns are isolating men. For instance, a private Bengali news channel in Bangladesh recently aired a promo in which leading female journalists of the channel were seen urging the masses to join in their fight against misogyny. The initiative does not involve any male journalist. It overlooks women who are being the purveyor of many atrocities against the same gender that they belong to (think of those mother-in-laws who abuse for dowry). What are we doing to make our protests more inclusive?
Fourthly, many people are also frustrated to see this cause of women empowerment being politicized or commercialized. Take the example of that politician who promised to install CCTVs in the city streets to tackle sexual harassment, if he were to win the city elections in Bangladesh! Major media outlets are arranging special segments themed around this issue. Where were they when doctored images of accomplished Bangladeshi business professional Rubaba Dowlawere disseminated online to malign her, or when an actress in Bangladesh was ostracized from the media because her former beau released a revenge porn footage?
To conclude, women empowerment is much more than a catchphrase that we can conveniently place in our marketing campaigns. We need to understand the concept of gender equity before embarking on what seems like a trendy cause. The ongoing protests in Bangladesh must be the beginning to a very long discussion about gender rights within the country and elsewhere. I sincerely hope that all these promises of keeping women safe in Bangladesh are not mere lip-service.
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